How to Support Someone with Postpartum Depression: A Guide for Loved Ones

Postpartum depression (PPD) is a serious and often misunderstood mental health condition that affects many new mothers after giving birth. It goes beyond the typical “baby blues” and can significantly impact a mother’s emotional well-being, her relationship with her baby, and her ability to enjoy daily life. While the mother is at the center of the struggle, PPD also affects families and loved ones, who may feel unsure of how to help. If you know someone experiencing postpartum depression, your support can make a world of difference in their recovery.

Here are practical ways you can help someone with postpartum depression:

1. Educate Yourself About Postpartum Depression

Understanding what postpartum depression is—and what it isn’t—is the first step in providing meaningful support. PPD is more than just feeling sad or overwhelmed after giving birth. It can involve a range of symptoms such as deep sadness, fatigue, irritability, feelings of worthlessness, loss of interest in activities, anxiety, and trouble bonding with the baby.

It’s also important to know that postpartum depression can affect anyone, regardless of how much they may have longed for their baby. Educating yourself helps reduce any stigma or misconceptions and enables you to approach the situation with empathy and understanding.

2. Offer Non-Judgmental Emotional Support

One of the most important things you can do for someone with postpartum depression is to listen without judgment. Mothers with PPD often feel guilt, shame, or a sense of failure, particularly when they struggle to connect with their baby or experience overwhelming emotions. Make it clear that you’re there for them and that their feelings are valid, no matter how difficult they may seem.

Encourage open dialogue by asking gentle questions like, “How are you really feeling?” or “Is there anything on your mind that you’d like to talk about?” Avoid minimizing their feelings or offering quick fixes, such as saying, “You’ll feel better soon” or “Just focus on the baby.” Instead, let them know that it’s okay to have hard days and that they don’t have to go through this alone.

3. Help with Daily Responsibilities

New mothers often feel overwhelmed by the demands of caring for a newborn, especially when they’re also coping with postpartum depression. Offering practical help with daily tasks can alleviate some of the pressure they feel and allow them to focus on their mental health and bonding with the baby.

Here are some ways you can help:

Offer to take care of the baby so the mother can rest or take time for self-care.

Prepare meals or stock the fridge with healthy, easy-to-prepare foods.

Help with household chores like laundry, cleaning, or grocery shopping.

Run errands or pick up any items she may need for herself or the baby.

Organize support by creating a schedule with other friends or family members to pitch in with tasks.

By taking some of the weight off her shoulders, you give her the space to focus on her mental health and recovery.

4. Encourage Professional Help

While your support is invaluable, professional treatment is often necessary for someone with postpartum depression. Encourage your loved one to seek help from a healthcare provider, therapist, or counselor who specializes in PPD. This may include counseling, talk therapy (such as cognitive-behavioral therapy), medication, or a combination of treatments.

It’s important to approach this conversation with care. Rather than pushing the idea of therapy or medication, you might say, “It sounds like you’re going through a lot right now. Have you thought about talking to a professional who could help?” Offer to help them find a therapist or accompany them to their appointments if they’re feeling hesitant or unsure.

5. Create a Judgment-Free Zone

Mothers with postpartum depression often feel pressure to “bounce back” quickly or live up to societal expectations of motherhood. Let the person know that you’re there for them, no matter what, and that they don’t have to pretend everything is okay. Avoid comparing them to other mothers or making comments about how they “should” be feeling.

Let them know it’s okay to be vulnerable and that they don’t have to be perfect. Reassure them that postpartum depression is not their fault, and that they’re doing their best under difficult circumstances.

6. Encourage Self-Care

Mothers experiencing PPD often put their own needs last, which can worsen their mental health. Encourage them to engage in small acts of self-care, such as taking a warm bath, going for a walk, or spending time doing something they enjoy. Offer to watch the baby for a couple of hours so they can take some time for themselves, whether it’s to nap, read, or just relax.

You can also gently remind them that self-care is not selfish—it’s essential for their well-being and their ability to care for their baby.

7. Be Patient and Consistent

Recovery from postpartum depression takes time, and progress may not always be linear. Be patient with your loved one and continue offering support even if they seem distant or withdrawn. Some days, they may seem more open to help than others, and that’s okay.

Showing up consistently—whether it’s through a text, a phone call, or just sitting with them quietly—demonstrates that you’re there for the long haul. Sometimes, simply knowing that someone is present and willing to help can be a huge source of comfort.

8. Watch for Warning Signs of Severe PPD

In rare cases, postpartum depression can become severe, leading to postpartum psychosis or suicidal thoughts. Be aware of warning signs, which may include:

Thoughts of harming oneself or the baby

Extreme confusion or disorientation

Hallucinations or delusions

Severe mood swings or paranoia

If you notice any of these signs, seek immediate professional help. Contact the person’s healthcare provider or call a crisis hotline to ensure they receive the care they need.

9. Support Beyond the Baby Stage

Postpartum depression doesn’t always resolve quickly. For some, it may last months or even longer and no Postpartum struggle is the same. Continue to offer support as your loved one navigates life with their baby, even after the newborn phase. Keep checking in and let them know you’re there for them for the long term.

Postpartum depression is a challenging experience, but with the right support, recovery is possible. By educating yourself, offering non-judgmental emotional support, and encouraging professional help, you can make a positive difference in the life of someone struggling with PPD. At Peaks Counseling, we offer specialized postpartum counseling to help mothers navigate this difficult time with compassion and care. If you or someone you know is experiencing postpartum depression, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. No one has to face PPD alone.